If this blog was a baby, it would be so dead right now.

Hi, my name is Sam, and you may know me as the person who used to have a pretty OK blog but then stopped posting because he can't remember ever.

But hey, it's whatever.

I guess it's time for an update/rant/post:

I graduated, so that.

I watched as a bunch of my classmates walked across a makeshift stage to receive an empty folder that would later contain a diploma for liability reasons.

You know, the usual graduation stuff.

I spoke at Baccalaureate, which is just graduation church or something.

And my speech was the best I've ever given, because I let go and wrote something legitimately personal.

AND GUESS WHAT, IT OFFENDED PEOPLE.

It actually wasn't even offensive at all though.

It was titled "Faith: The Final Frontier"

It was about faith, obviously. 

It circulated around the idea that no matter what faith we have, we all share the common idea of faith. 

I mentioned how some people don't believe in God, but that they have faith in themselves or an idea.

It was tastefully done, with a very personal spin.

That thing was my baby. Like, I nursed it and everything. It was pretty weird.

My mom actually walked into the room while this was happening, and was all like

"Sam, why are you nursing the computer?!"

And I was like

"OMG MOM YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND MY CREATIVE PROCESS"

But regardless of my creative process, that shit was my shit.

And do you know what happened right after I gave the speech?

"NO SAM OMG PLEASE TELL US"

OK, I'll tell you guys!

A girl, who will remain nameless, approached me.

She said

"I didn't like your speech. I didn't agree with it."

COOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

SOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

Guess what?

I honestly don't give a flying fuck what you think about my speech.

Seriously though.

Why would you ever do that?

Saying that you don't agree with my speech is basically saying that you don't believe that anyone's faith can matter, because that's what I talked about.

And, additionally, you don't just say that shit to people.

It was a big night for a lot of us, especially those who went on stage to speak in the service.

So I really just don't understand why you would take any negativity backstage to someone who's just trying to make good with something outside of their comfort zone.

Seriously, fuck you.

If any of you reading this have ever gone directly up to someone after they put their beliefs on the table, expressing a pure and honest idea that they live by, and told them that you didn't like what they said because you think it's wrong,

APOLOGIZE.

It's just a dick move.

/rant

note: Apparently I do give a flying fuck, because I wrote a superfluous rant about it. Oh well.

update:

Lately, I've been a mix of busy and mind-crushingly bored.

I'm DJing grad parties now, and making a pretty good business from it.

I'm trying to wrangle financial aid, and money in general. I'm making an utterly mediocre business of it.

But my debt should be reasonable.

And by reasonable, I mean that I'll only have several thousand dollars of debt accumulated after a single year of schooling but HEY, THAT'S LIFE. WELCOME TO AMERICA, WHERE INFLATION INFLATES AND EMPLOYEE WAGES STAGNATE IN A POOL OF CAPITALIST FILTH. ALSO, A PLACE WHERE WORKPLACE EFFORT HAS COLLECTIVELY INCREASED OVER THE LAST TEN YEARS, WHILE MEDIAN EMPLOYEE WAGES REMAIN THE SAME.

BEAR GIFS NOW

I SURE DO LOVE BEAR GIFS.

an analysis of modern lyrics 1

An Analysis of Modern Lyrics:

PART ONE

1. Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj ft. 2 Chainz

"Damn damn, what they say about me?

I Don't know, man. F*ckers on your biscuit.

If I get hit, swingin' on that big bitch,

I don't know, man, I'm shittin' on your whole life."

Obviously, Nicki's haters keep insulting her biscuits, and she's trying to figure out what they're saying by talking to one of her 54378978979345 personalities. Duh:

taken from Nicki's iPhone

2. Scream - Usher

"Now relax and get on your back

If you wanna scream yeah
Let me know and I'll take you there
Get you goin' like ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby
Ooh baby baby, ooh baby
 If you want it done right
 Hope you're ready to go all night"

..........

sweet baby jesus.

3. All You - The Cataracs ft. Kaskade and Waka Flocka

"If I want it, Imma get it.

Send the waitress over,

Quit that boozy shit, girl.

B-Bend that ass over.

Bend that ass over.

B-B-Bend that ass over."

Hey man, I have to agree with Mr. Flocka Flame here. No bitch of mine is going to act boozy when she has a perfectly good ass to swing around the club like a booty-powered helicopter. 

This, my friends, is the face of a sage man:

UPDATE:


It's been too long, Blog! I haven't seen you in ages! 







Well, I suppose I should just spout miscellaneous facts in hopes to get all of you up to speed. Here goes:




1. I'm about lead basically everything next year, which means I'll need to be nice to people, which means I'll probably need a prescription to Prozac. So....somebody get on that.




2. I've been cooking a lot lately because I like food and needed a hobby that wasn't hating republican candidates. I'll post recipes and whatnot on here because, well, I can.

3. In all honesty not a whole lot has been going on. OH except I saw Magic Mike the other day.....definitely needed more men in assless chaps.

this was shockingly lacking.

democracy, not bigotry.

there are few things that truly make me feel sick to my stomach.

one is the human centipede two : full sequence.

the other is the seemingly inevitable turn towards conservative bigotry and intolerance of differing cultures/ideals in american society.

i was recently confronted with this photograph on the virtual planes of facebookland:

this is one of those things where i shouldn't even have to explain the flaws in the above abomination of modern society.

1. america was built on the foundation of accepting immigrants. examples: pilgrims, religious refugees, our ancestors, etc.

 

2. "Language : English!"

...

3. the constitution =/= culture.
culture is actually one of the many things that whoever penned this list is gratuitously lacking. culture is acceptance. the ability to let in the extravagant and accept that which you do not let in - THAT is culture. not this conservative bullshit mumbo-jumbo about hating immigrants and closing borders and speaking english. culture is something that changes a person; it's something that reignites patriotic passion while taking logical political steps forward. culture is culture. it isn't bigotry, or ignorance, or anything even similar to the aforementioned attributes. culture is what america needs, what the youth needs, and what the world needs.

 

4. "No Freebies To : Non-Citizens!".

...just stop. you've stopped making logical points,

you've lost any validity that you thought you had.

you're done.

you lose the argument.




it's an unfortunate, heartbreaking thing, the destruction of american ideals. the sheer, tyrannical truth of the matter is astounding and terrible: if we don't change, we're going to perish. as a nation. as a people. as society and as man. 



we need culture.
we need acceptance.
and we need it now.

gay sex =/= banging a hyena.

RICK SANTORUM ISN'T FIT TO TONGUE-PUNCH SATAN'S SALTY POOP-SLINGER, MUCH LESS RUN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

the above text is cold, hard fact based on common f*cking sense.

America is an interesting place; it's beautiful and diverse, and i love living here. but sometimes, damn it, people can't open their eyes to the issues at hand.

FUN FACT #1

Rick Santorum describes himself as "morally pure".

...

seriously. i kid you not. this man actually believes himself to be the example of what man should be. that right there is enough of a reason not to support him. the last thing America needs is a pretentious dick-wibbler that holds himself socially above the people he would govern. that's just stupid. he's like michelle bachman with a dick!

FUN FACT #2

Rick Santorum is a racist bastard. he was, truthfully, quoted as saying the following:

"i don't want to make black peoples' lives better by giving them someone else's money."

i honestly don't even have to say anything about why this is wrong.

a letter:

dear mr. santorum,

     white people, believe it or not, make up 38% of the population that is currently receiving welfare, while the african-american community only makes up 37%. i appreciate your attempt to revive the bigotry of the pre-civil-rights-movement America, but i don't think that now is the time to try to rekindle those ideals.

                                                                                                          Sincerely,

                                                                                                                educated america.

FUN FACT #3

he is and will always be, someone who is incapable of keeping up with the trends of acceptance in modern society.

Santorum, widely known as the "most anti-gay candidate", evidently hates gay people. he's actually been quoted comparing homosexual acts to bestiality, putting the two acts on the same moral level.

gay sex =/= having sex with a hyena.

(believe it or not)

society has, thankfully, taken a turn towards acceptance of homosexuals. most people recognize the rights of same-sex couples joined in a civil union, and many people support gay citizens because they are, in fact, sentient people.

apparently rick santorum has been living in a cave for the past few years......that, or the south.



i think that, given the information above, most people will be able to see that a conservative radical is probably a poor choice for a leader in the 21st century. i don't know if you understand this, but prejudice is a terrible thing. one thing we do not need in society is a turn towards theocracy, the founding fathers actually frowned upon that. the bible does not govern america, nor should it ever. that's why we have the separation of church and state....and the bill of rights....and "majority rule, minority right".....and a constitution.....and a democracy.

additional fun fact: most of the bible is actually not comprised of the teachings of jesus christ so if you want to worship him instead of the damned men that wrote leviticus that'd be swell....and also it's be what christianity intended for you to do.

The End.