drawing # 1

best tea drink thing ever.

this

is

an

amazing

drink

and

it tastes

like

orange/mango

smiles.

go to hell, hometown.

-______-

nothing starts off your day better than hearing the townsfolk shout to the heavens for the segregation of the LGBT community, call upon their bff moses and his oh so charming storybook of Leviticus, and call gays unforgivable criminals.

i mean, i like to start MY mornings burning down churches and stealing childrens' souls, but hey, what gay doesn't?

honestly.

jackson.

come on.

a GSA (gay-straight alliance) is not a "club for homosexuals" nor is it an attack on heterosexuals.

seriously?

god bless you, conservative america.

you can suck my rainbow flag.

locked out

guess who had an adventure?
THIS KID.

dogsitting is a really easy job. all you do is watch two poodles sleep and eat mac'n'cheese and watch food network until you fall asleep.

however.....

dogsitting is the OPPOSITE of enjoyable when you lock yourself out of the house.

with both dogs.

while wearing old man pajamas.

and no way inside.

the bright side:

i made friends with my inner criminal and broke into a house. screens are very low-security when they're the only thing covering an open window, by the way.

the first post.

it all began yesterday.

afternoon:
i was painting the house when, right before my eyes, a wolf spider pounced another spider and began devouring its insides as the feeble, lesser spider still twitched and struggled in the grasp of the wolf spiders fangs.

night:
i went out on my front porch, enjoying the cool michigan air, when suddenly, a hideous hell-beast the size of a small dog caught my eye. a giant spider, its bulbous eyes glistening with malice, was lurking on my stoop, CLEARLY plotting the slaughter of my family.

now you're probably thinking "gee, this kid seems pretty uptight and insane".

YOU'D BE CORRECT.

but i digress;

today:
while painting the house again, i felt a tickle on my arm.

a sinister tickle.

i felt my body go rigid with fear as my eyes slowly peered down to see a sickly yellow crab spider skittering along my forearm. i managed to keep my cool, blowing it away and only slightly hyperventilating.

but then....

when i returned to my painting, a GIANT, HORRIBLE, EVIL, SATANIC wolf spider lunged at my hand, missing by mere inches.

cool status: lost.

i freaked out and called my mom to kill it with a broom.

....hells gates are opening beneath my house, and satan is targeting my phobias.

                                                              damn.