the first post.

it all began yesterday.

afternoon:
i was painting the house when, right before my eyes, a wolf spider pounced another spider and began devouring its insides as the feeble, lesser spider still twitched and struggled in the grasp of the wolf spiders fangs.

night:
i went out on my front porch, enjoying the cool michigan air, when suddenly, a hideous hell-beast the size of a small dog caught my eye. a giant spider, its bulbous eyes glistening with malice, was lurking on my stoop, CLEARLY plotting the slaughter of my family.

now you're probably thinking "gee, this kid seems pretty uptight and insane".

YOU'D BE CORRECT.

but i digress;

today:
while painting the house again, i felt a tickle on my arm.

a sinister tickle.

i felt my body go rigid with fear as my eyes slowly peered down to see a sickly yellow crab spider skittering along my forearm. i managed to keep my cool, blowing it away and only slightly hyperventilating.

but then....

when i returned to my painting, a GIANT, HORRIBLE, EVIL, SATANIC wolf spider lunged at my hand, missing by mere inches.

cool status: lost.

i freaked out and called my mom to kill it with a broom.

....hells gates are opening beneath my house, and satan is targeting my phobias.

                                                              damn.