so far, in class...

so far, in class, i have learned about many fascinating things, and partaken in the highest level of intellectual discussion. examples:



CRIMINAL AND CIVIL LAW:
we talked about statutory rape for literally hours, and came to a conclusion that michigan's laws are far too strict and basically all politicians needs to have sex to calm down.

AP CALCULUS:
actual work, nothing fun to report. though t.ratch now has a singing cow toy that parades about the class room on fridays.

FRENCH III/IV:
no new material in terms of the language, but so far we've had cupcakes and birthday cake, and started watching a really good movie about world war one.

PERCUSSION:
music-related things. the most amazing-ever-super-cool-oh-my-god solo has surfaced on marimba, with any luck i'll be able to post a video.

AP-PREP ENGLISH:
this class can very easily be summed up in three eloquent words:

"KILL ME NOW."

though i do love Edgar Allan Poe's works. that's the only plus side. also modernism.



so there's a basic synopsis of school, through the eyes of a snazzy youth.

thoughts on The Human Centipede 2 : Full Sequence.

CINEMATIC GOLD.

truly a beautiful allegory of current events and the taboos of society.


...


ok that's a bullsh*t lie.

i don't think i've ever been more disturbed by a horror movie before, nor have i ever seen a scary movie cause my friends to scream and almost throw up like that.

it was magical.

the best part was that it was all in black and white, except for the poop.


Tom Six: "guys, we need to bring some class to this movie."

Producer: "we should make it black and white! ALL the horror classics are in black and white!"

Tom Six: "YES. but what can we emphasize with color? i'd like there to be color at some parts to bring a more dramatic feel to the movie."

Producer: "how about poop?"

Tom Six: "YES."

#classy.

late post.

the title is relatively self-explanatory, but for those of you who are dull:

it's been awhile.

so yea.

college costs too much.

and financial aid is too complicated.

and i have less than a year to start researching and applying and whatever the hell.

basically, in sam-time*, there is next to no time to do all this.

UGH.



*sam-time is an expression used to easily convey my neurosis. i, like most people who constantly dread the coming of the future and eventual loss of their intellectual upper-hand, require an abnormally high amount of time to plan every small detail of my education. ta-da.

so i'm kind of psychic and it's freaking me out a little.

ok so i have known for a while that i'm...."unique".

basically because i like eating cheetos on my PB&J sandwiches and enjoy playing the xylophone over talking to women.

well, that last part is because i like boys, but regardless.


i've been having weird-ass dreams lately, but they don't seem weird per somnium.

in my dreams i'm just doing normal things, you know, nothing crazy.

but then, usually a few days / a week after the dream, i do what i did in my dream in real life, exactly how i dreamed it.

examples:

1. i dreamt that i was sitting in the auditorium during improv, and i was sitting audience-left. i was facing the crowd (pit area) and someone said something onstage and everyone laughed, but i didn't find it funny. the person was playing an improv game that i was unfamiliar with, and it involved sitting down center stage. in real life, three days later, a new game was introduced at improv titled "the bench game", and for those of you who know what that game is, you'll understand the sitting center stage part. the person onstage was acting bizarre, fishing for laughter, and everyone was laughing but me. i was sitting audience left.
2. a week ago, i dreamt that i was sitting in an armchair, wrapped in a blanket, reading a play that had weirdly written dialogue. it was slow reading, and i was skipping sections. my dog walked by the chair, and whined at me. in real life, basically the exact same shit happened. i was in an armchair, wrapped in a blanket, reading the crucible. i was skipping the asides written by the author. it was slow reading.

and i know that these aren't super crazy examples and i'm not blowing any minds, but there have been other incidents where the same thing happened. i have never had dreams so weirdly specific before, nor have i ever had every detail be almost exact the same in real life.

it's freaking me out a little.

the only living being i will ever need ever, ergo, the post about my dog.

...

i guess we both have those days.

i love my dog.

reasons why:

1.) he will never judge my taste in music

2.) he doesn't care if i dress nicely

3.) he can't talk, and if he did it would only be nice

4.) he has floppy ears

5.) he has more personality than most of my peers

6.) he's cuter than 90+% of humans.

7.) he makes noises like this:

aaaaaauuuuuuuuauauoooooiuuueeaaaaaauoooeeoooaaaaaoooooouuuu!!!!

personally, i'd rather hear that than human-speak.

 



mornings: a poem

O morn
Thy filled with Scorn
You fight my joy!
Pulling me into the fog with
Your Sleep

O morn
Thy are a BUTTCAKE
With an UGLY FACE
and a
FAT ASS.

O morn!

go f*cking die.

the human centipede 2 : full sequence

you have no idea how excited i am to see this movie.

it's been 100% guaranteed to be more disturbing and graphic than the original.

...which was pretty f*cked up already.

so i suppose that isn't really a GOOD thing.


however:


i get to prove my horror movie manhood with this franchise.




...who want's to have a movie night? :)

things that make me happy

1.) portal-based dubstep
2.) my dog
3.) making racist jokes to poke fun at my ching chong friend
4.) chocolate
5.) kites
6.) pokemon
7.) math! :D
8.) arguing

to be continued

[EDIT]

9.) xylophone
10.) even more chocolate
11.) being mildly antisocial

[SECOND EDIT]

12.) filthy dubstep
13.) babies, sans crying/poop
14.) zune
15.) my fish, Clem and Reggie (pictures to come)

[THIRD EDIT]

16.) my loving sister(s)

[FOURTH EDIT]

17.) my mom

if i ever created dubstep

it would go a little something like this:


bum bum bum bum tsss bum bum bum BUM

x2

then some of this:

bum bwee dum bwee doo bwee um bwee

and repeat that a bit.

THEN THE DROP. WHICH GOES LIKE THIS:

BUUMMMMmmmmmmm....

....doooOOOOOOOOOOO

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

BUM BWIGGA BWIGGA BWIGGA BWUGGA BOOM BOOM BOOM

and then repeat that for about 5 minutes.

maybe i'd end it with a good, hearty, nostalgic uber drop like:


IT'S-A ME! MARIOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo.......



yea.

quick update

honestly, i forgot about my blog. whoops.

oh well.

update on my current life:

• i still hate spiders.
• i'm in a play about the holocaust
• i'm rocking that xylophone like the thug i am.
• i have a f*ckload of homework every night.

that's basically it.

also:

A QUICK PSA:


please do not make out in the hallway.

there i am, eagerly high-stepping my way down to my calc class when i hear an ungodly sound.

a slurping sound.

a sickeningly wet slurping.

i turn my head, terrified of what i was about to discover.

was it and octopus, readying an attack?

perhaps a mutant puma, preparing to punce on an innocent freshman?

NOPE.

TWO FILTHY CHILDREN LICKING EACH OTHERS' TONGUES AND ENJOYING EVERY REVOLTING MINUTE OF IT.


people.


honestly.


at 9:50a.m. i am not even awake yet, much less in dire need of a good face-sucking.


like seriously.

what the hell.

i can hear you from 8 feet away.

at least work on your technique or something.

lolwut.

you are 16.

you have been dating your boyfriend for LESS THAN A MONTH.

stop posting things like the following:

1.) we're in love
2.) we're getting married, so shut up haters.
3.) i have the best fiance ever!!! <3 <3 <3
4.) love you babe! LUV 4 EVR BF + GF = SEXXXIIIII

seriously. you don't even know what love is you crazy whore. stop appearing on my facebook news feed.

drawing # 1

best tea drink thing ever.

this

is

an

amazing

drink

and

it tastes

like

orange/mango

smiles.

go to hell, hometown.

-______-

nothing starts off your day better than hearing the townsfolk shout to the heavens for the segregation of the LGBT community, call upon their bff moses and his oh so charming storybook of Leviticus, and call gays unforgivable criminals.

i mean, i like to start MY mornings burning down churches and stealing childrens' souls, but hey, what gay doesn't?

honestly.

jackson.

come on.

a GSA (gay-straight alliance) is not a "club for homosexuals" nor is it an attack on heterosexuals.

seriously?

god bless you, conservative america.

you can suck my rainbow flag.

locked out

guess who had an adventure?
THIS KID.

dogsitting is a really easy job. all you do is watch two poodles sleep and eat mac'n'cheese and watch food network until you fall asleep.

however.....

dogsitting is the OPPOSITE of enjoyable when you lock yourself out of the house.

with both dogs.

while wearing old man pajamas.

and no way inside.

the bright side:

i made friends with my inner criminal and broke into a house. screens are very low-security when they're the only thing covering an open window, by the way.

the first post.

it all began yesterday.

afternoon:
i was painting the house when, right before my eyes, a wolf spider pounced another spider and began devouring its insides as the feeble, lesser spider still twitched and struggled in the grasp of the wolf spiders fangs.

night:
i went out on my front porch, enjoying the cool michigan air, when suddenly, a hideous hell-beast the size of a small dog caught my eye. a giant spider, its bulbous eyes glistening with malice, was lurking on my stoop, CLEARLY plotting the slaughter of my family.

now you're probably thinking "gee, this kid seems pretty uptight and insane".

YOU'D BE CORRECT.

but i digress;

today:
while painting the house again, i felt a tickle on my arm.

a sinister tickle.

i felt my body go rigid with fear as my eyes slowly peered down to see a sickly yellow crab spider skittering along my forearm. i managed to keep my cool, blowing it away and only slightly hyperventilating.

but then....

when i returned to my painting, a GIANT, HORRIBLE, EVIL, SATANIC wolf spider lunged at my hand, missing by mere inches.

cool status: lost.

i freaked out and called my mom to kill it with a broom.

....hells gates are opening beneath my house, and satan is targeting my phobias.

                                                              damn.